Never Say Never
Sheila Fitzgerald
Riverside CA USA
From NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 18 No. 1, January-February 2001, pp. 14-15
At the beginning of my parenting
journey, if anyone had told me that I would someday breastfeed a toddler,
I would not have believed it. I had observed other mothers breastfeeding
preschool-aged children, but it just didn't look like something I would
be comfortable doing.
My first daughter, Kaitlin,
abruptly stopped nursing when she was about 11 months old. Not knowing
what a nursing strike was, I assumed she had "weaned" herself.
I stopped attending La Leche League meetings and never thought about
following up on the issue. After all, the majority of what I had heard
about breastfeeding was that you should do it for about a year.
Breanna was born two years
later, and she has changed almost every parenting opinion I held previously.
Breanna was an avid nurser from the minute she was born. She would nurse
for hours at a time if I let her. I would never have gotten anything
accomplished without using a baby sling and we soon discovered the practicality
of the family bed. La Leche League meetings also became an active part
of my schedule again.
Breanna's first birthday
came and went. She continued to nurse six to eight times a day in addition
to one or two times at night. We were both comfortable with this arrangement,
so it was a natural progression to continue nursing her as a toddler.
Her vocabulary began to expand exponentially with her older sister,
Kaitlin, coaching her. It was about this time that more friends and
family began to ask me when I was going to wean her. Breanna continued
to nurse energetically and sometimes not very discreetly. As a result,
it became necessary to explain acceptable behavior while nursing. "No
Breanna, you can not lift Mommy's T-shirt all the way up while you are
nursing. All these other people don't want to see Mommy's breast."
My husband, Brian, works
developing computer software, and I am a registered nurse. As two technically
oriented people, one of the foundations of our parenting practice has
always been no baby talk. So, when Breanna indicated or showed signs
of needing to breastfeed, I would ask her, "Do you need to nurse?"
I discovered that nothing turns heads faster than an exclamation from
an articulate two-year-old announcing, "Mommy, I want to nurse!"
I developed a lot more respect for those discreet cue words other mothers
used. But then I never imagined I would still be nursing Breanna when
she was two-and-a-half years old!
I've been told that children
don't need breast milk to sustain them nutritionally after age one,
and that may be true. But Breanna has taught me how nursing sustains
her emotionally, and teaches her love, trust, and security. It is emotionally
gratifying to me, as a mother, to know my little explorer can venture
out into our uncertain world, feeling secure in the knowledge that when
she falters, or falls, her strength and courage are renewed with just
a few minutes of comforting at my breast. When she is exhausted and
can no longer cope with the stresses of her day, her little body relaxes
to sleep within minutes of latching on to breastfeed. So now, when another
mother comments to me on how she couldn't see herself nursing an older
child, I smile to myself because I recognize my former feelings. I do
my best to explain to her how my views changed gradually and how comfortable
I am to be changing along with my children.
Last updated Thursday, October 12, 2006 by njb.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:30:24 UTC 2007.
