Treasure from a Yard Sale
Leah A.
Israel
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 19 No. 9, July-August, p. 134
Four years ago, I chanced
upon a neighborhood yard sale of a family that was moving to Israel.
Among the stuff they were discarding I found a treasure: three years
worth of New Beginnings and several classic breastfeeding books. Those
old issues have been a constant source of inspiration for me as I've
made the gradual and often challenging transition from appellate litigator
to at-home mother. On those days when I'm drowning in laundry and find
myself wondering how years of negotiating legal settlements and rebutting
opposing counsel could leave me so unprepared to handle a two-year-old's
tantrum, I've learned to reach for a well-worn copy of NEW BEGINNINGS.
In a few minutes my mood lifts, and I'm able to return to my job with
warmth in my voice, a tender hug for my little ones, and renewed gratefulness
for being able to be home with them.
Two years after I bought
those magazines and books, our family also moved to Israel. I ran into
that old neighbor on the bus one day. I got such a kick out of telling
her that her old copies of NEW BEGINNINGS had followed her to Israel
after all!
Still, I didn't think I'd
be writing to NEW BEGINNINGS myself, one day. Although I owe LLL much
appreciation, the story of my breastfeeding career was very ordinary,
both in what went wrong as well as what went right.
When my first child was born,
I wanted to breastfeed. I had no clue what I was doing, and neither
did the nurses at the hospital. Because my baby was thriving on my milk,
I assumed that my bleeding, cracked nipples and excruciating pain were
normal. Fortunately my husband told a friend about my pain. The friend
promptly told his wife, a mother of eight. She came to visit, bringing
LLL pamphlets and some ideas she had learned through LLL meetings. She
listened to me and helped me realize that I was not alone. Since the
day I discovered that I didn't have to shed tears of pain every time
I breastfed my baby, I've been one of the biggest fans of breastfeeding,
mother-to-mother support, and, of course, LLL.
My baby and I went on to
nurse until just before her third birthday, when she suddenly weaned
herself. I'm touched that to this day, she uses the same word she once
used for nursing to describe her bedtime ritual of sucking her thumb
while holding a piece of my clothing. It shows me that her memories
of breastfeeding are associated with love and comfort. These days, I'm
nursing my two-year-old and I've often wondered how mothers who aren't
nursing can possibly handle a toddler! There's nothing like nursing
for a calming, soothing break to reconnect and get back in synch when
the going gets a little hairy.
But never have I been so
grateful for my nursing relationship with my toddler as I am now. A
month ago, my children and I were riding the bus into town to buy them
winter shoes. As the bus was stopped at a red light, a man suddenly
began shooting at the passengers with an automatic rifle. Two teenagers
were killed and 50 people wounded, many very seriously. Through a series
of miracles, my children and I survived unhurt and are now recovering
from the ordeal.
A child psychiatrist was
among the first to greet us when we arrived at the hospital. The sights
and sounds of that day had terrified all of us, particularly the children.
My five-year-old is very verbal and I'm amazed sometimes at how well
she's been handling the experience and learning to integrate it into
her life. But my little one is just on the threshold of verbal communication
and isn't able to draw well enough to use pictures to communicate with
the psychiatrist.
The one thing she can do
is nurse. Though she used to be an "efficiency" nurser, she
now clearly nurses for more than a quick refill. We've nursed through
night terrors, which have now passed. We spend the night together, with
her sleeping on top of me, her cheek on mine. She nurses many times
before dawn. When she falls asleep, her hand stays close to her source
of comfort. I'm immensely grateful to be able to offer her a sense of
safety, normalcy, and nurturing in the circle of my arms. In an unpredictable
world, there's at least one thing I can do to reassure her. And when,
after a night of intense holding and nursing, she wakes up with a smile
and happily starts her day as any normal two-year-old, I can only give
thanks for our great blessings.
Had it not been for the companionship
of those back issues of NEW BEGINNINGS, and for my friend's passing
along what she learned from LLL, I don't think I would still have been
nursing a toddler when trauma struck us. So though they're only two
small words, they come from the bottom of my heart: LLL, thank you.
Last updated Friday, October 27, 2006 by njb.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:29:41 UTC 2007.
