Book Review:
Fathering Right from the Start:
Straight Talk about Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond
by Jack Heinowitz,
PhD
Novato, CA: New World, 2001
Reviewed by Pete W.
Georgia, USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 19, No. 2 March-April 2002 pp. 66
Fathering Right from the
Start, by Jack Heinowitz, PhD, is a handbook to assist fathers in
creating a strong father-mother relationship and father-child bond.
Beginning before birth and ending in adolescence, Heinowitz shares his
personal experiences and those of others while both raising questions
and offering answers.
Very much a self-help book,
Fathering Right from the Start aims to put fathers at ease and
to show them that they are not alone with their worries, concerns, and
issues in childbirth and child rearing.
Heinowitz offers wonderful
suggestions to help the father stay engaged and bonded with his wife
and child while respecting the importance of breastfeeding and the primacy
of the mother-child bond early on. Real-life breastfeeding issues are
dealt with head-on in a manner similar to that found in a La Leche League
meeting, but they speak to a father’s perspective.
For example, in the case
where a baby’s crying interrupts lovemaking, he gives insight into the
mother’s position. He shows how she is forced to choose between being
a wife or a mother at that moment, and he gently asks the father to
have a sense of humor and to understand the need of both mother and
child to comfort the child at the breast. This is one of many examples
and issues explored that seek to lead the father to becoming, or staying,
an engaged, attached “breastfeeding father.”
Other issues explored include
the father’s feelings of being shut out while the mother is nursing;
sex (or lack thereof) during pregnancy and after birth; laboring and
birthing together; postpartum adjustments; facing the fears of fatherhood;
addressing poor fathering role models in one’s past; what mothers really
want, and what children really need. The author explores common situations
and also fears and feelings that will not be relevant to all fathers.
While fathers are the intended audience of the book, the author pauses
at certain points to include comments intended for female readers. With
so much attention generally given to the mother and to what she goes
through in childbirth and beyond, it is refreshing to see the author
instead giving the mother insight into the mind and heart of her partner
and giving her suggestions to help him through the issues he faces.
Overall, this is an interesting
and thought-provoking book, which shares with the reader some intimate
and moving moments from the male perspective. By giving fathers the
tools to support breastfeeding and to maintain healthy relationships
with their partner and children, this book ultimately seeks to provide
what is best for the child.
Last updated Friday, October 27, 2006 by njb.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:29:49 UTC 2007.
