You Do Make a Difference
Erin L.
MO USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 18 No. 3, May-June 2001, p. 96
I always knew that I would
breastfeed my babies. I was breastfed for about nine months. My mother
often told me stories about how great it was and how I was never sick
because of breastfeeding. My husband was supportive but knew very little.
His mother had never breastfed and in fact, he had never seen a woman
breastfeed her baby before! His family seemed curious and willing to
learn more about breastfeeding. When Clayton was born, things were great.
My father-in-law was embarrassed to see me nurse in front of him but,
other than that, nothing was said.
As Clayton grew older the
comments started coming. "How long are you going to do that?" "You two
need to get out. It's good for your marriage. " "Is he eating any real
food yet?' "Is he still sleeping in your bed?" "Why can't he have just
one taste of chocolate?" The pressure was on! Even my husband and my
mother, my two core support people, questioned extended nursing. Don't
count out my pediatrician either. When Clayton was six months old, she
wanted him eating solids every day and sleeping through the night. This
was a child who still woke every two hours at night and wanted nothing
to do with solid food. All I knew was that I was doing what felt right
for my baby.
La Leche League provided
my monthly re-fueling. I needed that group of women to tell my stories
to. I also needed to listen to theirs, so that I wouldn't feel as if
I was the only one facing these issues. They helped me to brainstorm
ways to answer all of the questions and talk openly with my pediatrician
about my feelings. I always left the meetings with books that would
help me feel confident in my parenting style. Armed after each meeting
with an arsenal of information, I would press on, ready to defend myself
at any given moment for my choices.
As the months went by, I
started to notice little changes happening around me. My mother called
me one day and told me that she had just given a coworker a lecture
after she had made a comment about how terrible it was for people to
nurse their babies for years. My mother asked her why in our society
it is acceptable for babies to carry bottles or pacifiers around for
years but not to breastfeed. When Mom told me this story she made the
comment that I was starting to "rub off on her."
After that, I started
noticing that my husband was making little comments about breastfeeding
that amazed me. He would hear about a bottle-fed baby with allergies
and say, "She should have breastfed," or he would come home telling
me stories about other men that he met whose wives breastfed. This from
the man who wanted the floor to open up and eat him the first time that
he was in a room with a woman breastfeeding her baby.
My 19-year-old
sister-in-law even amazed me one day. We were discussing feeding babies
and she told me that after seeing me breastfeed she thinks she might
do it when she has children. Even my mother-in-law started to support
me. She began asking "real" questions about breastfeeding and even expressed
interest in attending a La Leche League meeting to learn more. I've
even managed to get my pediatrician to understand my views and support
me.
The moral of the story is
to stand by your beliefs and follow your heart. Little did I know that
something that came so naturally to me would change lifelong opinions
of the people in my life. Even in the lives of the people who seem to
be your biggest critics, you do make a difference.
Last updated November 13, 2006 by njb.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:30:12 UTC 2007.
