Book Review
Raising Your Spirited Child Workbook
by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
Reviewed by Neysa C.M. Jensen
Boise, ID USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 16 No. 3, May-June 1999, pp. 98
Spirited! What a lovely
word! In a society that often frowns on wild, explosive, and stubborn
behavior in children, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka redesigns the labels and
calls the behavior energetic, dramatic, and assertive. Kurcinka is the
author of Raising Your Spirited Child- a Guide for Parents Whose
Child is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic.
When I first read Raising
Your Spirited Child I found myself wishing I could be a part of
a workshop on spirited children such as the ones Kurcinka described
in the book. I could have used the practical help in applying her principles
of positive parenting with my children. In answer to many requests for
a study guide, Kurcinka wrote the Raising Your Spirited Child Workbook.
In this book, the author
assembles a fictional, but representative class based on her own experiences
leading workshops for parents of spirited children. Readers read about
the sessions, do the exercises along with the fictional class members,
and share in their successes. Most importantly, readers have the chance
to take the concepts from the original book and further learn how to
apply them to their specific child. Whether one has read the original
book or not, Raising Your Spirited Child Workbook will help anyone
with a spirited child.
Mary Sheedy Kurcinka echoes
La Leche League's philosophy of loving guidance time and time again
in this book. She points out, for example, that "spirited children
possess traits 'in the raw' that are truly valued in adults but challenging
in a young child." Thus, her goal is not to change children, but
to "recognize their potential and help them develop the skills
they need to manage their temperament well." This workbook provides
exercises and insight to "help parents create families where spirit
thrives," rather than aiming to crush these tender spirits. Exercises
focus on the positive attributes of each trait, always reminding the
reader that spirit, well channeled, is wonderful. Emphasis is also given
to enabling children to recognize and manage their own temperament as
they grow.
Chapter by chapter, readers
cover each trait and learn tools to help children maintain their spirit.
I use this workbook to teach classes in my community and one of my favorite
exercises in the book is in the chapter "What Makes Kids Spirited?"
The participants write their names and are then asked how it feels to
write with their preferred hands. In the class I lead, answers include
"natural, normal, right." Then participants are asked to write
their names with the other hand and describe how it feels. Some common
answers are "awkward, embarrassing, impossible, difficult."
The exercise demonstrates how it feels to use one's non-preferred style.
Imagine an energetic spirited
child trying to sit still at school all day, or an introverted spirited
child trying to find her place at a busy day care facility, where participating
in the group's activity is valued. Kurcinka says, "Unprepared and
pushed to 'not be' who he is, the child may become exhausted and frustrated.
He may even refuse to cooperate or simply quit trying." The exercise
helps parents of spirited and non-spirited alike feel the frustrations
their spirited children face each day.
With that in mind, the Raising
Your Spirited Child Workbook proceeds to discuss the temperamental
traits of spirited children: intensity, persistence, sensitivity, perceptiveness,
and adaptability, plus the bonus traits of regularity, energy, first
reaction, and disposition. Questions and charts guide readers through
an analysis of their children's and their own temperament (most spirited
children have at least one spirited parent), to determine which traits
are most dominant.
Not every spirited child
has all the traits, and not all children who have the same traits have
them to the same degree. That's part of what makes living with spirited
children frustrating for parents. There are no “one-size-fits-all"
answers.
Mothers looking for a book
that speaks about loving guidance beyond the toddler years may want
to read this book. Several parents of spirited children in an LLL Group
might decide to form a group to do parts of the workbook together. The
members of the group lead enthusiastically comment that every parent,
not just parents with spirited children, can follow the techniques in
this book. Good communication and respect for children and their diverse
needs are at the heart of positive parenting, whatever the child's temperament.
Raising Your Spirited
Child Workbook is published by Harper Perennial © 1998, and
is available through LLLI (3951, $14.00).
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:30:02 UTC 2007.
