Staying in Tune
Amy Weetman
Webster NY USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 19 No. 6, November-December 2002, pp. 210
An anticipated invitation
to a family friend's out-of-town wedding finally arrived addressed to
Mr. and Mrs. Weetman. Our two-year-old son, Kyle, apparently was not
invited. When I called the mother of the bride to find out for sure,
she confirmed my suspicion: no children were welcome at the outdoor,
morning ceremony. Kyle, however, could come to the reception. My emotions
bounced around from disappointment to anger to disbelief. I had hoped
the engaged couple would have seen and appreciated the bond Kyle and
I have at other family events—and how comfortable and well behaved he
is when I am around.
Despite this glitch in our
plans, my husband and I decided to attend the wedding. We indicated
that three people would attend the reception, but only one person would
attend the ceremony. We decided we would figure out later who the "one"
would be.
The day of the wedding arrived
and I felt nervous and a little resentful that I was in this situation.
My husband and I decided that I would attend the ceremony. Before the
service began, I breastfed Kyle and explained where I would be and what
he and his father would do. He seemed very comfortable with everything
and was soon off exploring. Kyle and his dad walked around the gardens
and saw fountains, wildlife, and flowers.
At the reception we worked
together to meet everyone's needs. Sometimes the three of us sat together
and ate, read stories, or colored. Other times one of us walked around
with Kyle. We danced together and had a good time. Kyle was the only
child in attendance. Many times during the reception other guests came
up to me and commented on what a "good boy" I had. I tried
to explain my parenting philosophy: I carefully monitor Kyle's needs
and he always accompanies me, so he's used to being in all kinds of
situations.
I often wonder why more parents
do not understand what comes so naturally to my family. Keeping Kyle
with me seems to me to be an extension of my mothering style. I believe
in a gentle birth, no separation, and breastfeeding early and often.
I have a a great desire to try to communicate and understand my son
and I respect him and his developmental needs. I feel lucky that I am
comfortable trusting my instincts in mothering and am able to understand
and nurture my toddler through breastfeeding.
La Leche League meetings
give us the opportunity to meet our children's needs while we meet our
own adult needs. Children also learn about different aspects of the
adult world: sometimes we use quiet voices, we take turns speaking,
and we gather together to support each other. There have been many meetings
where Kyle is content to sit on my lap nursing, eating a snack, or quietly
reading a book. Other times he needs more space or wants to interact
with the other children present. In La Leche League there is acceptance
of my parenting philosophy. It is so nice to know that, even though
my style of parenting is not the cultural norm, I can be comfortable
parenting in a way that respects my child's needs.
Last updated Friday, October 27, 2006 by njb.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:30:12 UTC 2007.
