A Valuable Lesson
Shawna Becene
Henrietta NY USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 19 No. 6, November-December 2002, pp. 217
I remember as if it were
yesterday. My water had been broken for 45 hours and the doctors told
us that they needed to deliver our baby. Thirty-two minutes later, my
baby girl was born by cesarean. My husband held her while they put me
back together. I was wheeled into the recovery room and an hour later
I got to hold my daughter, Iris, and nurse her. She took to the breast
beautifully. I was relieved.
The nurses told us she had
jaundice and they kept poking her for blood. After a few days the nurse
came to tell me my baby had lost more than 10 percent of her birth weight
and that she needed to receive supplemental formula. My heart was broken.
I questioned, but not enough. Who was I to know what was best for my
baby? They were the experts, right? Reluctantly, we also supplemented
with formula and I hated every minute of it. It was extra work, dribbled
down my baby's chin, and she didn't seem to care for the whole procedure
either. I felt as though I had already failed her.
I questioned whether my baby
should be suckling so much and a nurse told me I needed to get a pacifier.
Since I was not comfortable with the idea, I spoke to a lactation consultant
who suggested using my pinky finger to soothe her. I definitely liked
this suggestion more, but family members kept bringing pacifiers in
for Iris. I was too tired and nervous to object and listen to what my
heart was telling me to do.
When it was time to go home
we took the left-over formula without thinking. Our first night home
she cried, as most babies do, and I panicked. I continued supplementing
at night. I was exhausted and didn't even think to keep pumping at home.
My husband wanted to help me by waking up to feed Iris at night. Because
cup feeding was frustrating for him, we bought bottles to make it easier.
She was only around two weeks old. As time went on, early evening became
difficult, too, so we adapted with the bottle. At seven weeks, when
Iris refused to nurse, I snapped out of complacency! I contacted the
hospital lactation consultants and my pediatrician. They offered suggestions
and I tried every one without success, including the football hold,
lying down, expressing milk before nursing in case of strong let-down,
and giving a little formula so she wasn't so hungry when I put her to
my breast. I started pumping regularly because I wanted to breastfeed
exclusively. I was desperate and wanted someone to watch me attempt
to nurse. I realized how important it was to my baby and me and I felt
helpless and guilty. If only we hadn't supplemented, if only we hadn't
given her a bottle, and if only we hadn't been soothing her with a pacifier.
I called my cousin, who had
nursed her two babies. She suggested I find a La Leche League Group.
I called 800-LALECHE and was referred to a Leader named Kirsten. When
I called her, she gave me new suggestions that focused on closeness
with my baby, such as skin-to-skin contact, bathing together, and spending
the day in bed together. What I desperately needed before I could try
those suggestions, I explained to Kirsten, was for someone to come and
see what I was going through. I felt that if someone could just witness
our efforts, they would have the one correct answer I was looking for.
Kirsten offered to come right over. She was kind and gentle and patiently
waited until I could get my baby to focus on nursing.
I didn't get my quick fix
that day, but I was filled with encouraging words and loving suggestions
from Kirsten. I was told that this wouldn't be easy. At that moment
I didn't care, as long as I had a chance at getting Iris back to the
breast.
I started by offering the
breast first for each feeding. I had to get my daughter relaxed by almost
putting her to sleep. If she wasn't ready for it she started screaming
and I had to begin all over again. Sometimes this would take at least
five or six attempts, sometimes a half-hour. I tried not to be disheartened.
It was summer and we spent much of our days with her in just a diaper
and me in my nursing bra. We stayed in bed together and played. I thought
about taking her pacifier away, but the day I tried to wean her "cold
turkey" she was miserable and cried constantly. I gave in to her
and decided to work around the pacifier, thinking that if she was sucking
her thumb I wouldn't be able to take it away. The skin-to-skin contact
and trying to nurse her when sleepy seemed to help.
During this transition time
I kept pumping. I pumped right after we had an unsuccessful nursing
session. I also tried to pump between feedings to keep my supply up.
It was time consuming since I only had a hand pump, but I did it happily
for my baby. I talked with my family in Maine, USA about what I was
going through and a cousin offered her electric pump. It arrived in
the mail along with a copy of The Womanly Art Of Breastfeeding and a
supportive note. I read the book, pumping eventually became easier,
and I started to relax a little.
Kirsten called often during this taxing time and she kept me going when
I started to lose faith in myself. I cannot thank her enough for her
support. Amazingly, it didn't take long before my daughter was back
to nursing-just a little over a week. As our nursing improved each day,
she required less and less formula. Pumping had helped keep my milk
supply adequate. Iris was stimulating the right amount of milk by nursing
more-just the way it should be! Eventually we eliminated the formula
altogether. I was no longer chained to formula or bottles! I rejoiced
every time we sat down to nurse and said a prayer of thanks.
I never want to take nursing
for granted again. It is vital to raising and nourishing my baby. My
husband and I have discussed over and over what we have been through.
We learned a valuable lesson. My heart and head are now one with my
mothering, and I owe my growth to the support and wisdom I received
from La Leche League!
Last updated Tuesday, October 3, 2006 by njb.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:30:18 UTC 2007.
