Book Review
Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding during Pregnancy and
Beyond
by Hilary Flower
La Leche Leaue International,
2003
Softcover, 325 pages
No. 1379-12, $14.95
Reviewed by Erica Jorgensen
Seattle WA USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 20 No. 6, November-December 2003, pp. 222
If breastfeeding a toddler
is still a cultural curiosity, then tandem nursing is truly unusual.
As author Hilary Flower has found, it's mostly a hidden phenomenon:
plenty of mothers do it, but primarily at La Leche League meetings and
in the privacy of their own homes. Perhaps ADVENTURES IN TANDEM NURSING
- the first major book on the topic - can help bring this parenting
practice out of the closet. The book marvelously fills a void both for
longtime tandem-nursing women looking for a little moral support, and
for those expectant mothers wondering if they'll be able to pull it
off, or even successfully nurse while pregnant.
As the "Supermom"
drawing on the cover hints, there's plenty of humor to be found between
the covers. "Milk of amnesia" is Flower's witty way to describe
the brain fog that nursing-and especially tandem nursing-can induce.
Cartoon-like drawings throughout the book amusingly illustrate common
experiences of a tandem-nursing mother, such as "suddenly huge-looking
toddler" syndrome (when the newborn makes the nursing toddler suddenly
seem gigantic in comparison).
Flower covers just about
any tandem-nursing question under the sun, while managing to keep the
information brief, organized, and clear-perfect for referencing in a
hurry, or when two (or more) children are clamoring for attention. She
includes information on breastfeeding while pregnant; rest, nutrition,
and self-care; discomforts during breastfeeding; changes to expect in
milk quality and quantity; positioning options, including some for pregnant
mothers; fending off critics; and cutting back nursings or weaning with
empathy.
Flower writes that she herself
felt crushed, confused, and a little relieved to see her older daughter
wean during her second pregnancy, only to be thrilled when she started
back up again when she started making colostrum. Here's her description
of the scene right after the birth of her son:
My new son was in that
magical first hour of life. He locked eyes with his big sister as
she nursed at the other breast, and she reached out her little hand
to his miniature hand. I felt like Mother Earth as my love flowed
into both children and their love completed the circle.
The most fascinating material
in ADVENTURES IN TANDEM NURSING comes from interviews with dozens of
tandem-nursing mothers. Their stories appear throughout the book, with
the last section featuring the tales of 10 mothers who had a variety
of experiences: one nursed three children at once; another tandem nursed
after adopting a baby; another grieved the loss of a self-weaned older
nursling; and another, pregnant, was horrified by her profound physical
irritation with her nursing toddler but was still reluctant to wean
her. One of these mothers really sums up the experience: "Tandem
nursing is an exercise in love, patience, and adaptability."
In spite of the challenges
involved, Flower stresses that it's well worth the effort in order to
smooth the older child's transition to being an older sibling. In time,
a child will learn that sharing her mother does not mean losing her.
Mothers need energy, patience,
and emotional fortitude to nurse siblings, and the right kind of information
and support can make a big difference. Full of mother-to-mother support
and the latest research, this book wonderfully complements the monthly
support of LLL meetings for any mother interested in the issues of nursing
during a pregnancy or tandem nursing.
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