Richer for
His Love
By Beth Moscov
Santa Barbara CA USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 14 No. 6, November-December 1997, pp. 173-174
"Breastfeeding is enhanced
and the nursing couple sustained by the loving support, help, and
companionship of the baby's father. A father's unique relationship
with his baby is an important element in the child's development from
early infancy."
As my young son has grown
through the first year of his life, I have felt again and again the
truth of this statement, one aspect of La Leche League's basic philosophy.
Jonathan was present at the home water birth of our son, Samual Isaac.
I had a very intense back labor that seemed to last forever. With every
contraction, Jonathan was there, looking me in the eyes, staying present
with me and holding me. When Sam was born, Jonathan cried thankfully.
In the weeks that followed,
Jonathan made sure I ate when I forgot, got me innumerable glasses of
water, sang to the baby (funny, only the Hebrew songs seemed to calm
Sam down and I don't speak Hebrew), and any number of things to help
me spend more time with our newborn. We soon figured out that for us,
nighttime parenting was easiest if I cared for Sam in the main body
of the night. Once Sam decided it was morning, Jonathan would get up
with him to let me sleep a few uninterrupted hours.
Jonathan was always there
for me. He pulled through with extra chores when I was so exhausted
that I needed to sleep with Sam instead of fitting in just one more
task. Early one morning, I tried to wash the dishes. Perhaps I used
a little too much pressure, or maybe the glass had a crack, but it broke
in my hand and cut me badly enough to leave a scar. I was so flustered
that I called Jonathan at work. In tears, I told him what had happened.
He decided to come home, bandaged my hand, put me to bed, and finished
the dishes!
Jonathan helped me breastfeed
directly. I suffered from a serious case of sore nipples. I have a tendency
not to ask for help even when I need it, so I let it go for much longer
than I should have. My nipples had reached the point of being cracked
and bleeding. One night, as Sam latched on, I was in tears. I said I
didn't know how I could go on. I had nursed my daughter without this
problem and I couldn't seem to figure it out. I had heard my local Leader,
Mindy, talk to other mothers and I tried to do what she recommended
but I never spoke up myself. Jonathan told me to call Mindy. I said
I couldn't and made an excuse. Finally, he dialed for me and handed
me the phone. The suggestions I received from Mindy made a big and immediate
difference. Sam had been sliding down off the nipple and just nursing
at the tip after the first few minutes. It took a while to teach him
to stay on and he still gets lazy on rare occasions, but I would not
have recognized this problem if Jonathan hadn't made me call for help.
From the beginning, Jonathan
has had a special relationship with his son. He sings to Sam, plays
with him, and has been teaching Sam to play Middle Eastern percussion
(just like Daddy!). They share a love of music, and it thrills me to
see Sam crawl at high speed over to "his" drum whenever Daddy picks
up the big drum. They have recently begun riding bikes together with
Sam nestled between Jonathan's arms in his front bike seat. They talk
as they ride, with Sam saying such words of wisdom as "Bah," "nya,"
and "guh." Jonathan builds Web pages for the Internet as part of his
work. Sam has his own Web page now with a beautiful picture of the two
of them and a lovely poem Jonathan wrote about the experience of becoming
a father.
My job is joyful because
of my husband. He does more than make it possible for me to be home
with Sam. He loves his son and supports me in my parenting choices.
He tries to teach our friends who are expecting children about the importance
of breastfeeding and has been known to give my name to pregnant women
he meets. He makes sure I have a little time to myself to think (such
a luxury with a baby under a year). He holds me when I cry from frustration
and tries not to take it personally when I yell at him at odd hours
of the night simply because I don't know what else to do when Sam has
been up too many times. Sam's life, and mine, are richer for his love.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:29:33 UTC 2007.
