Un-Planning Series Meetings
Nikki Julien
Olympia WA USA
From: LEAVEN, Vol. 40 No. 2, April-May 2004, p. 31.
Here’s another way to
plan Series Meetings-—don’t plan at all! This may sound shocking,
but not planning is okay, and for some Leaders and Groups, it’s
actually preferred. Coming without a plan opens the discussion to what
the meeting attendees want to talk about instead of what you think they
will want to talk about.
Consider if not having a
plan will work for your Group. Lyla Wolfenstein of Vancouver, Washington,
USA writes, “I remember being bored and frustrated by highly planned
meetings when I first started going to LLL meetings with my baby. It
felt stilted and impersonal.” If the discussion seems forced, the
mothers may be hesitant because they think their comments are not relevant
to that meeting’s topic. When there is no set topic, mothers will
bring up a greater range of thoughts. Also, in an effort to complete
the meeting’s plan, you might be tempted to overlook a concern.
Yet, without the need to move on, mothers can discuss an issue in greater
depth and might come to find greater understanding.
Annette Leibovitz writes
about how she and her co-Leader, Annie Faber-Root of Buffalo Grove,
Illinois, USA, begin meetings. “Lately we have been starting the
meeting by asking mothers if they have any questions or comments they
want to share. This often generates our whole meeting and definitely
meets the needs of those in attendance.”
Using the strategy of not
planning has other benefits as well. While mothers are conversing, you
have time to look up a difficult question in the Breastfeeding Answer
Book or tend to your own children. When you don’t have a preconceived
plan to follow, you may notice subtleties such as recurring issues or
dynamics between Group members that you may not have noticed before.
Not worrying about how your plan is proceeding allows you more opportunities
to remember to mention LLL resources and books for sale. Spending less
time planning meetings frees up time between meetings for other LLL
activities. Deb Wills, who leads in Madison, Wisconsin, USA, says, “I
spend quite a bit more time thinking up creative ways to promote LLL
membership.” The time could be spent planning a fundraiser or finishing
up reports.
How do you plan for an un-planned
meeting? You could simply show up with the standard opening question:
“What questions or concerns did you come with today?” Margi
Grant of San Diego, California, USA says that after 15 years of leading
meetings, she doesn’t plan anymore. “I wait to see the mix
of mothers and children who show up at a meeting, and during introductions
I try to note what the concerns of that particular group are on that
particular day. That forms the content of the meeting that day.”
If you are worried about
the conversation falling flat, have a general topic as a back up plan.
A “new situation” from New Beginnings is a handy conversation
starter. As your meeting progresses, you can also take notes on the
discussion. Then, if the conversation fades, you could return to an
earlier concern and discuss it further.
Going to a meeting without
a plan may take bravery. Confidence in your ability to be in front of
a Group comes with practice. Yet, even if you are a new Leader, letting
the mothers lead the discussion might be a way to ease into the role
of leading a meeting. Not planning also requires a bit of trust—trust
that the mothers will stick to mothering through breastfeeding issues
or that you, as Leader, will be able to bring the discussion back on
topic if it strays too far. A well-stated announcement about LLL’s
focus will help. Un-planning also takes some patience. Allow the mothers
an extra moment to answer each other’s question rather than jumping
in to solve it yourself. Simply asking, “Has anyone else had experience
with that?” will often bring out responses. Wait for many thoughts
to be expressed, and most likely LLL’s perspective will be brought
up by some of the mothers.
Edie Eckman of Waynesboro,
Virginia, USA writes about her experience of planning meetings, “Even
if I don’t have a ‘plan,’ I usually have an idea of a
few questions I might ask to get the discussion underway. Once I get
there and see who’s at the meeting, I will choose my plan of action
from there.”
There are many ways to un-plan
your Series Meetings. You can try letting go of your outline or list
of information. You can try coming with a general topic rather than
a developed plan. You might bring just one or two discussion starter
questions. You may try not planning at all and leaving the discussion
to what questions the mothers come with. Un-planning takes us back to
our main goal in having meetings, which is to meet the needs of the
mothers. Mothers who feel that they got something from the meeting are
very likely to enjoy the time and will come back again. Margi Grant
sums up the results of not planning: “Our meetings are pretty popular,
I think, due to the casual atmosphere and warmth and caring for each
mother’s concerns.”
Editor’s Note: “Un-planning”
is not for everyone or for every Group. It’s an option for Leaders
to consider. Leaders should be sure to meet the needs of new attendees
who may be looking for more formal information, particularly pregnant
women.
Nikki Julien and her partner,
Jim, have two children: Alec (9) and Linden (7). She has been a Leader
for three years and co-leads with three Groups for which she plans (and
un-plans) differently for each.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:32:16 UTC 2007.
