Breastfeeding Agitation
Hilary Flower
St. Petersburg FL USA
From: LEAVEN, Vol. 39 No. 4, August-September 2003, pp. 90-91.
It’s easy
to imagine that as a confirmed breastfeeding mother who has helped many
mothers overcome their own problems, that nothing could possibly change
your own experience of breastfeeding. But look out: breastfeeding agitation
can strike anyone. Having a clear view of breastfeeding agitation can
help you whether you are supporting another mother or are moving toward
tandem territory yourself. The following is adapted from ADVENTURES
IN TANDEM NURSING: BREASTFEEDING DURING PREGNANCY AND BEYOND, La Leche
League International’s newest publication.
Breastfeeding
agitation is no fun, and pregnancy seems to be a particularly common
time for breastfeeding agitation to strike (affecting roughly one-third
of pregnant and breastfeeding mothers). Some pregnant mothers can tell
you exactly what week the agitation set in for them, and although it
differs from woman to woman, mid-pregnancy seems to be a common time
of onset. Many women find that the agitation abates in late pregnancy,
while others find that this is when it’s most intense.
Still, agitation
can strike any mother who is nursing an older child, even without a
new pregnancy. During tandem nursing it tends to be triggered only by
the older child’s suckling, or it may happen only when both children
nurse simultaneously. Tandem nursing mothers who subsequently become
pregnant may be particularly likely to get it. In many cases the trigger
may have little to do with pregnancy or tandem nursing.
The biggest issue I
faced was very unexpected. I was prepared for negative feelings toward
my toddler’s nursing when my baby was born but it didn’t
happen. The three of us had a wonderful nursing relationship. Then
when my son was about a year old and my daughter was three my feelings
changed. Nursing my daughter became an awful experience. She still
had a strong need to nurse and I just couldn’t take it. I felt
uncomfortable, anxious, and angry when she was at the breast. My emotions
and reactions were primal and very strong. —Elisa, New York
The precise
nature of the agitation varies widely from woman to woman. Some mothers
describe a grating feeling.
It’s almost impossible
to describe the feeling; it’s kind of like if you could take
the sound of nails on a chalkboard and turn it into a physical sensation.
Sometimes the sensation made me feel like screaming at the top of
my lungs while running around and around in a really tight circle.
—Lisa, California
For some, it’s
more creepy crawly.
The best I can do is
to say it felt like bugs were crawling all over my body, and I couldn’t
brush them off. It started out difficult and annoying, and soon became
intolerable. People used to ask me, "Does it hurt?" And
I’d think, "I wish!" Pain, I could deal with. This
was so beyond pain. It was just icky. Really icky.—Barbara, Minnesota
Sometimes it
is like having your mind turn on you—and the nursling.
I felt an overpowering
urge to stop nursing, immediately. It was a visceral, gut reaction
like an itch, making me tense, anxious, cranky, and agitated. It was
so confusing because I wasn’t in pain, and I was committed to
nursing my son as long as he needed to nurse. The feeling only came
when Jake was nursing, and quickly passed when he was finished.—Sarah,
Texas
The severity
of the reaction varies from mild ("Why don’t I enjoy nursing
my older child anymore?") to extreme ("Aagh! Get this child
off me!"). Some call it a nursing aversion. Sometimes mothers don’t
become aware of the agitation until after the breast pain abates and
the desire to break away lingers.
Breastfeeding
agitation may stem from our mammalian roots. Maternal aggression is
not uncommon in the animal world at weaning time, and it is possible
that pregnancy makes our bodies think it is time to wean.
I felt like my old childhood
dog who weaned her puppies by just getting up and walking off every
time they tried to nurse. The feelings I had during pregnant nursing
could only be described as "primal"—it was so instinctive
to recoil from nursing that I really almost couldn’t help myself.
I had a strong urge to pick her up and throw her off of me and run
away from her. I was in no way prepared for it and I felt like the
worst mother on the planet. Since my experience, I’ve done an
informal survey of all my co-Leaders and other LLL moms around who
nursed while pregnant and a majority of the ones I’ve talked
to also experienced powerful negative emotions when nursing while
pregnant—Kelly, Georgia
Mothers’
stories make it clear that agitation is not a reflection of the mother’s
relationship with the child or even her true feelings about breastfeeding!
This may be an instance where one’s body wisdom and personal awareness
are very useful. Would alternative ways of cuddling with her child be
helpful for a mother’s relationship with her child? Is the mother
run down? Suggest that she try eating better, getting more rest, and
having some alone time. Remind her to do what she can to pamper herself—it
can’t hurt! One mother found that even a short break from nursing
made a difference.
I found that getting
up and walking around for a few seconds helped in getting rid of the
wriggles and reacquiring a sense of peace.—Helene, Ontario, Canada
You’ll
find more practical ideas for working with breastfeeding agitation in
LLLI’s new book, ADVENTURES IN TANDEM NURSING, by Hilary Flower.
Hilary Flower
tandem nursed for 18 months. She lives in Florida with her partner,
Ben, daughter, Nora Jade (5), and son, Miles (2). ADVENTURES IN
TANDEM NURSING is her first book.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:31:34 UTC 2007.
