Book Review:
The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood:
Coping with Stress, Depression, and Burnout
by Kathleen
A. Kendall-Tackett, PhD
New Harbinger Publications, 2001
Available from LLLI, No. 1211-7, $14.95
reviewed by Jeanne Faulconer
Stanardsville VA USA
From: LEAVEN, Vol. 38 No. 6, December 2002 - January 2003, p. 135.
I came across The Hidden
Feelings of Motherhood: Coping With Stress, Depression, and Burnout
by Kathleen A. Kendall-Tackett while browsing in a library. I began
flipping through it while standing in the stacks. Before I knew it,
I had sunk to the floor and was reading avidly, thinking, "La Leche
League Leaders need to know about this book." The book’s openness
to LLL’s ideas about mothering immediately sets it apart from most
mainstream books on the challenges of motherhood. I noted right away
that the well-known authors quoted in the book included LLL-friendly
writers such as Phyllis Klaus, Marshall Klaus, William Sears, Sheila
Kitzinger, and Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. It was no surprise to learn that
the book’s author is a Leader, a frequent author for articles published
in NEW BEGINNINGS and LEAVEN, and spoke at the 2001 LLL International
Conference. The book is a natural for inclusion in LLL Group Libraries.
Hidden Feelings provides
information and support for mothers who are having a hard time coping
with various challenges of motherhood. The book is not a definitive
work on postpartum depression and is not meant to be. Instead, it explores
a range of difficulties mothers experience, including burnout, exhaustion,
stress, dealing with a challenging or ill child, employment situations,
the loss of a pregnancy or child, the demands of managing a home, the
repercussions of having been abused, and depression. This makes the
book ideal for a woman who is wondering, "Why do I feel so overwhelmed?"
since the answer to the question is often "because of a combination
of things." As she finds the sections of the book that ring true
for her, a mother will discover that she is not alone in her difficult
situation and she will be able to use the excellent resource list and
notes at the end of each chapter to find further help specific to her
challenge.
Most refreshing is the book’s
projection of mothering through breastfeeding and attachment parenting
as the norm. For instance, Kendall-Tackett offers the suggestion that
chronically tired mothers may find co-sleeping to be a restful option
and provides resources, including The Family Bed by Tine Thevenin
and Nighttime Parenting by William Sears, to which parents may
refer for more information. She offers special considerations that breastfeeding
mothers should take into account if they are taking medication for depression,
and refers mothers to Medications and Mothers’ Milk by Thomas
Hale. In a respectful, balanced chapter that addresses reasons some
women work outside the home, Kendall-Tackett offers sequencing and alternative
work arrangements as ways some mothers might choose to have more time
at home, while also providing a list of publications and organizations
that can help "women at home feel confident in their choice."
The one drawback of the book
is that it is not indexed, and as is common these days, the specific
citations in the back are in one alphabetized list. Since the references
are not tied to page numbers or even separated by chapter, a reader
cannot make up for the absence of an index by using the citations to
find particular passages. Otherwise, it’s clear that the book is
well researched and thoroughly supported by parenthetical documentation
throughout the text. Additionally, the organized structure of the book
and the lists "For Further Reading" help to minimize the impact
of this inconvenience.
Hidden Feelings helpfully
blends academic material with mothers’ stories. Some readers may
find the chapter on the history of women’s domestic work to be
a distracting tangent; others will be fascinated with the perspective
it provides. All readers will appreciate the practical suggestions for
solving problems ("Lightening Your Load at Home," and "Work
Arrangements That Work for You") combined with a frankness about
the demands of motherhood.
Mothers who are facing serious
depression will not find all they need here because that would be beyond
the scope of this book. Kendall-Tackett makes it clear that depression
should be taken seriously. She gives an overview of causes and treatments
and specifically refers mothers with severe depression to their doctors.
Leaders may find this book to be a resourceful first recommendation
for mothers who may be dealing with depression because it contains additional
resources for readers and explores contributing factors to depression.
In addition, Leaders will find the book to be helpful to mothers who
are having a hard time coping with their lives.
As it helped me, reading
this book will help other mothers realize that many women experience
these "hidden feelings." The ideas contained within reflect
LLL’s long history of respecting mothers as the experts on their
own situations, offering empowerment to women who are looking for ways
to make things better.
Jeanne Faulconer was accredited
in North Carolina, USA in 1992 and led with LLL of Mooresville, North
Carolina for eight years. Jeanne, her husband, Rick, and their three
sons have returned to their home state of Virginia, USA, where she homeschools
the boys in rural Greene County. After serving as a District Advisor,
Area Conference Supervisor, and Area Coordinator of Leaders in North
Carolina, Jeanne has recently joined LLLI’s Book Evaluation Committee.
Book Review Editor Jake Aryeh Marcus has been a Leader in Pennsylvania,
USA since 1997. She is a lawyer and freelance writer and editor. She
lives with her husband and three sons.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:32:22 UTC 2007.
