Where Do
Toddlers Belong at Series Meetings?
Maggie Heeger
Madison, Alabama, USA
From: LEAVEN Volume 31, No. 1, January-February 1995, p. 5
A cornerstone of La Leche
League philosophy is that mothers and babies belong together. But to
a mother who is new to LLL meetings and protective of her infant, a
room full of happy, playful toddlers can be a noisy, distracting place
to participate in a discussion.
Is it a contradiction to
encourage mothers' availability to their children and sensitivity to
their needs, yet not welcome children of all ages at Series Meetings?
The needs of all mothers and children must be carefully considered when
planning meetings.
A large group of toddlers
can be a real challenge to leading a discussion and effectively meeting
the needs of mothers. Some Leaders have creatively met this challenge
by providing quiet, safe toys in the far corner of the meeting room.
Arranging the furniture to create two separate areas draws an imaginary
boundary line between meeting and play areas. Mothers and children can
easily pass back and forth, always in sight and earshot of both activities.
The setting may be somewhat noisy, but the pandemonium is significantly
reduced.
Other Leaders take this strategy
a step further. A separate room or even an outdoor play area is established
for the children. Mothers are free to let their children amuse themselves
in a place where they won't disturb the meeting. Often mothers take
turns on duty in the play area or the Group arranges for a teen helper.
The noise and hubbub at Series Meetings are reduced and many Leaders
find this works well. Several cautions are in order, however, before
a Leader adopts this plan of action.
It is essential that we don't
create the impression that children are required to play separately
away from their mothers. It must be made clear that use of the play
area is optional, based on each child's readiness. Think for a moment
how a mother attending her first LLL meeting might interpret what she
sees. If toddlers are ushered out of the room and encouraged to play
elsewhere, we could be sending a mixed message.
An important point sometimes
over-looked by Leaders eager to hold a calm meeting is that new mothers
need to see other mothers dealing positively with parenting challenges.
By watching mothers of older babies, we've all learned parenting techniques
we might have otherwise missed. You can't learn it if you don't see
it. "By commenting on good behavior of toddlers, Leaders can help
mothers gain confidence in responding to their children," says
the NEW LEADER'S HANDBOOK (p. 64).
But what about the noise?
Won't it scare away new mothers? Certainly this is a valid concern.
As in many cases Leaders can get best results by discussing this with
Group members. The best forum is an Evaluation/Enrichment Meeting.
Explain the double-edged
dilemma: the need for a reasonably quiet meeting versus the need for
toddlers to have access to their mothers. Ask for the Group's understanding,
sensitivity and cooperation in keeping disruptions to a minimum. Ask
for input.
Suggest that mothers of toddlers
take seats near the play area so their comings and goings won't' be
as distracting. Suggest quiet toys. Suggest that before the meeting
mothers discuss with their toddlers "playing quietly so the mothers
can have their meeting." Remind mothers that their interaction
with their toddlers is valuable for new mothers to observe. It demonstrates
that we can participate in valuable activities with toddlers in two.
However, mothers should also be re that Series Meeting is not a playgroup.
If the meetings are getting too crowded with older children, mothers
may be feeling that they are expected to bring all their children even
though older ones are just as happy staying at home with dad or playing
at a friend's house while mother and baby attend the meeting.
A Leader could also make
an announcement at the beginning of the Series Meeting: "Our toddlers
sometimes get carried away as they enjoy each other's company, yet we
also know that they still may need to stay close to mother. Please help
us meet the needs of everyone here at this meeting. Encourage quiet
voices and quiet play. Try to be one step ahead of your child. Don't
hesitate to leave the room for a short time to tend to your child."
Take a break to regroup or
adjourn entirely if you feel that exuberant toddlers or upset children
are overriding the meeting. If a new mother seems distraught about the
noise level, make a point of talking with her during the refreshment
break.
Toddler situations need to
be handled in a manner that's best for your Group, with careful thought
given in advance to possible repercussions. There are many options and
it's important to consider all of them before deciding which to try.
Leading a meeting with plenty of toddlers underfoot may be a challenge
but with creativity, good humor and sensitivity a Leader can make it
rewarding.
Page last edited Sun Oct 14 09:31:28 UTC 2007.
