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More than Feedings

By Lori Hall
Hagerstown MD, USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 17 No. 6, November-December 2000, p. 226

Our family has been through many stresses in the past five years. I have been pregnant and /or nursing for more than six years. Dave and I have made many adjustments as we parent our three boys, Josh, Jason, and Jesse. Recently, Dave came home from work with the news that he had been told he could choose between being fired and resigning. We had been warned ahead of time, but it was still a devastating blow. Without money in savings, and with me home raising our boys, we were nervous about the future. It was fortunate that he had been dabbling in web design in his spare time and had started a small business. That evening, while he was talking with his friend and business partner in the web business, I overheard the most wonderful conversation.

His friend said, "Well, Lori can get a job."

Dave answered, "No, she breastfeeds."

"Well, can't she pump?" the friend asked.

My husband answered,

"It's just not the same."

This conversation showed an evolution in my husband's thinking. He went from insisting it was time to wean when Josh turned one year old, to accepting me sleeping in the children's room, to watching his three-year-old, Jason, nursing alongside our third child, Jesse. Not only does he not pressure me to wean, he really understands that breastfeeding is more than "just feeding." I especially love when he says, "He needs you. He needs to nurse." Hearing my husband use the word "need" validates my feelings and gives me one more reason to feel proud.

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