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Focus on Fathers

A Gentle Husband and Father

By Brenda Goldstein
Los Angeles CA USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 21 No. 1, January-February 2004, pp. 26

When we were first married, I was surprised by the fact that my husband, Don, wanted to do his own laundry instead of me doing it for him. Now, since we use cloth diapers for our one-year-old son, Aharon, I’m more than happy to let Don do the baby’s laundry, along with mine, too.

Don also helps me change Aharon’s diapers. Though nursing is the best way for Aharon to fall asleep, Don sometimes fills the role of sleep-facilitator. Lately, he’ll take us on a nighttime drive along the freeway until Aharon falls asleep. Other times, he’ll lay Aharon across his knees and bounce one knee gently up and down, which lulls our son to sleep.

I don’t know what I’d do if Don didn’t help me bathe Aharon. I know that other mothers (or fathers) do it on their own, but it seems to me that performing that task solo would be difficult.

Very importantly, Don is usually able to watch Aharon when I need to take a shower. I understand that some mothers take showers with their babies, but I don’t see that working for me. That being the case, I feel grateful to my husband that we don’t have to leave Aharon by himself during that time.

I love to have my back massaged and tickled. Don doesn’t quite understand why, but he acts as my masseur nonetheless, which helps me to relax. I don’t know if this is one of the reasons he does it, but it helps me to perform my function as a good, loving, attentive mother.

In addition to all the things my husband does for me and our child, he also shares my parenting philosophy. I am so glad that Don is pro-breastfeeding, happily shares his bed with Aharon, believes in loving guidance, and would rather pick our son up all the time than let him cry.

I sometimes snap at my husband out of frustration, but I then remind myself of the fact that I’m so lucky to be married to a gentle man like him and that our dear son has a man like him for a father.

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