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Trusting Instincts

Suzie Calvin
Riverside CA USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 18 No. 5, September-October 2001, p. 191

I am not sure if my husband realizes just how much I appreciate him. I sometimes can't even put my feelings into words. In addition to the gift of our two beautful children and his undying love and devotion, Jeff has given me one of the best gifts I could ever wish for-his trust and respect for my mothering instincts.

I never had to lecture Jeff about the benefits of breastfeeding. I simply explained that I believed breastfeeding babies was nature's intention and that it was the best way I could mother our children. From the moment they were bom, he reveled in their attachment to us, amazed that I could produce enough milk to feed our children. He has laughed gleefully through countless breastfeeding conversations initiated by our nursing toddler. As the breastfeeding relationship between my child and me grows, my husband grows as well.

I think Jeff was almost better prepared to sleep with our children than I was. He certainly has had the most difficult time letting go of this phase of our parenting. Even though our son has had his own small twin bed for a long time, he and my willing husband frequently cuddle in bed. If they aren't in the twin bed together, my son and my husband, who is taller than six feet, frequently spend the night in a small plastic tent. The plastic tent frame bruises Jeffs back, and his legs hang out of the tent and out from under the blankets, but that never seems to bother him.

There are some days when I feel my husband trusts my instincts more than I do. I can't recall a time when he questioned them. He empowers me. He makes me feel as though my job is the most important one in the entire universe. His respect, love, and admiration make me whole. And watching him with our children has made me fall in love with him all over again.

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